In morning meditation today, through the scriptures and in prayer, I encountered some dark things in my heart. One of those things is malice. Malice is the intention or desire to do evil; ill will. Saint Peter says to rid ourselves of all malice.
For me, the intention to do evil rises because I feel angry that I was treated unfairly. This could be in daily family life or in major points of conflict that we deal with as leaders.
Malice is armor and a weapon. It's armor to protect me from not dealing with the real issues of my heart - I long to be affirmed and, worshipped. It turns into a weapon as I lash out in subtle ways, or in overt ways. I can be sneaky with the use of my malice.
The Apostle Peter says, 'Therefore rid yourselves of all malice, all deceit, hypocrisy, envy and all slander.'
Malice is connected to my deceitfulness and it is connected deeply to
jealously. Yes - I am jealous of other people's success. Yes - I will tear people down in my mind and heart so as to elevate myself and my situation (slander).
As a Christian, I bring this malice to the crucified and risen Christ. 'He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree; so that, having died to sins, we might live for righteousness.'
Meditation shines light in dark places. That's ok as long as you have light to shine.